Stories From My Life #7

As I've said, once Maxine entered the picture, nothing else mattered to my father, but keeping her happy. So we were to also keep her happy or suffer his wrath. We were made to call her, "mom."

One night Maxine had gone to a lot of effort to make a candlelight dinner for her new family, in her new home, using her (I mean my mother's) new dishes. We were having Okra Surprise. I had never had okra before and boy was I surprised!

We were all seated around the table with the candles lit, which was fortunate because we didn't have the added pleasure of actually seeing the "surprise." After smelling it, putting it to my lips and feeling, first its texture, and then its taste, I decided that I wasn't interested in knowing this surprise.

I refused to eat it. My father grabbed me by my arms and marched me out of the room - or drug me out of the room under duress - depending upon your perspective. He told me in very certain terms with some sailor flavoring sprinkled in that I was to eat every last bite and I was to like it. I said, "You can make me eat it, but you can't make me like it."

Back in my seated position - holding back tears (no tears or he wins), which didn't help my stomach. I began to eat bite after bite of the slime - just shoveling it in - no chewing - no holding my breath. When the last bite went in, it ALL came up and out and all over the table. It was a slimy, smelly, goo that would have eaten it's own way through the table and then through the floor until the okra monster from Hell came up and swallowed Maxine, if it had been a real horror movie (not just the horror of my life.)

Do I need to say that we never had okra again? The night of the Okra Surprise was never mentioned again.

If you've never had okra before - let me describe it for you. First of all it feels like a snotty snail trail going down your throat, or like when you've got a disgusting cold accompanied by post nasal drip. Second, this could have been part of the surprise, but I'll always associate it with okra ~ it tasted like a vomit ball wrapped in a sphere of snot. SURPRISE!